“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan
If you love coffee – I mean, really love it – you know what it means to suffer its absence. And revel in its glory.
It’s not just the lethargy that sets in when you’ve gone too long between cups. Or the raging headache that reminds you you really are just a slave to its silky black seduction.
It’s the way coffee makes you feel – like a pumped up, bulletproof David skipping toward Goliath all, “Yo, Broad Shoulders! Let’s do this thing. I’ve got How to Get Away with Murder on the DVR and parsnips in the oven.”
Or, at the very least, coffee gives you the will to get up and go to work.
Here are twenty-five of the best quotes about coffee that truly capture the essence of needing that magical black liquid.
Coffee is Life Quotes
“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentence-doing.” – Lorelai Gilmore
Gilmore Girls was a ripe source of profound coffee sentiments, but none of them captured the notion of coffee as life blood better than this one.
“Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven’t had coffee, in which case we feel 107.” – Martha Beck
Girl, I hear ya.
“I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover.” – Sandra Bullock
Almost, Sandra? Really? You can find another lover.
“Coffee is my water now.” – Becky G
It does sustain life.
“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” – Louisa May Alcott
A woman with priorities.
Good Morning Coffee Quotes
“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.” – Fran Drescher
Why would you want to?
“Some days, the first coffee just laughs at you. It says, ‘Oh, you think I’m going to wake you up? Sucker.’” – Katherine Waterstone
That’s why it’s best to just start out with an entire carafe.
“The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
And double the caffeine!
“I don’t know how to exist before 9 A.M. And without coffee, I’m not classified as a human. Actually, I could be regarded as a threat.” – Katie Findlay
Coffee saves lives.
Coffee Quotes as Life Advice
“I like cappuccino, actually. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch
The secret to strangeness revealed.
“Don’t buy pre-ground coffee.” – Howard Schultz
“Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee.” – AJ Lee
Best listen to her. She can kick your ass.
“Nothing can replace sleep, but coffee can do it best.” – Kelley O’Hara
Advice from a world-class athlete.
Inspirational Coffee Quotes
“Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever it is that makes you happy.” – Rita Moreno
10-4, Rita. And coffee do smell good.
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Flash Rosenberg
There’s probably something to this. Opposable thumbs for the win.
“No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” – Sheik Abd-al-Kadir
And that’s just a snippet of this entire coffee poem by the man:
In Praise of Coffee
Oh Coffee, you dispel the worries of the great, you point the way to those who have wandered from the path of knowledge. Coffee is the drink of the friends of God, and of His servants who seek wisdom.
As coffee steeps in the cup it gives off a musky aroma and turns the colour of ink. No one can understand the truth until he drinks of its frothy goodness. Those who condemn coffee as causing man harm are fools in the eyes of God.
Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold it brings to every man the feeling of luxury and nobility. Coffee differs from pure, gentle milk only in its taste and colour. Take time in your preparation of coffee and God will be with you and bless you and your table. Where coffee is served there is grace and splendour and friendship and happiness.
All cares vanish as the coffee cup is raised to the lips. Coffee flows through your body as freely as your life’s blood, refreshing all that it touches; look you at the youth and vigour of those who drink it.
Whoever tastes coffee will forever forswear the liquor of the grape. Oh drink of God’s glory, your purity brings to man only well-being and nobility.
“Coffee first. Schemes later.” – Leanna Renee Hieber
That is typically the order of things.
Funny Coffee Quotes
“If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” – David Letterman
He ain’t the only one.
“Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.” – Unknown
We’ll assume it was said by someone who got decaffed when they needed full-caffed.
“It is surely easier to confess a murder over a cup of coffee than in front of a jury. – Friedrich Durrenmatt
And wiser probably.
“My children know not to shout before Mummy has warmed herself into something human with her coffee.” – Beeban Kidron
Teach your children well.
And one to think about:
“I have walked into the palaces of kings and queens and into the houses of presidents. And much more. But I could not walk into a hotel in America and get a cup of coffee, and that made me mad.” – Josephine Baker
Josephine Baker was an African-American dancer and singer who adopted France as her home to escape the more flagrant racism and segregation in the United States.